I suck at blogging.

There is a lot that goes on in my life that I could post about daily but who really cares what goes on in MY life? I mean I just spent nearly three weeks in the hospital and I could have posted every single day about my adventures there. I definitely had a lot to say about the goings on at St. Luke's but I honestly did not even think about blogging. I have had this blog for years and yet I never think, "I need to blog about this."

I will try to do better because I really do need to journal and sometimes I am witty. Sometimes I have something profound to say. HA! Mostly I have nothing at all to say but feel I should write it out for my kids to read later in life when I am gone. Who knows with my health, that could be sooner rather than later. :/ I will try to stay positive here. Seriously. 

Sent the baby blanket off to Grand baby and I think they (baby and mom) liked it. I don't see her with it in pictures that often. She usually has a different one but I don't really care. It was a handmade gift of love. This is her with the blanket when they came to visit after Christmas. 

Baby Jun! 

Javi & Jun

Jun, Isn't she adorable?!

I am about to start on one for my brother's baby, my new niece, Jun!!! She is frigging adorable (as you can see from picture) and I am going to make this extremely intricate and way out of my comfort zone blanket. I really hope they like it. It might take me a bit of time to do.

I have a few more projects that I want to do but really I am sucking in the motivation department. I am also working on a blanket for ME to enjoy and use for when I am at Christopher's Lacrosse and Football games. It is an HP school colors afghan. It is not hard but will be time-consuming and I am feeling lazy.

I did just get out of the hospital last weekend. I went to the doctor after feeling sick for a few weeks and an ER visit which resulted in antibiotics for sinusitis and a random viral infection diagnosis. I had extreme shortness of breath, sweating and an elevated heart rate at the doctor so he sent me to the ER for tests. He was afraid I had a blood clot in my lung. The CAT Scan revealed no blood clot but an enlarged spleen and liver so I was admitted. Several weeks later and a million tests, a bronchoscopy, and a thoracoscopy (which resulted in a dishwasher-like tube protruding from my body for several days after, GROSS and OUCH, and STILL no diagnosis. I was often called mystery woman by the nurses. 

My saving grace of my entire hospital stay, besides the fact that Brian works at the hospital I was at and being able to see him often, was my roommate, Gail. A woman in her late 50s/early 60s, she had already lost one leg but had learned to walk again with a prosthetic which sat in the windowsill of our room proudly. It did freak me out at first before I knew I had a roommate. HA!  Anyway, she had the BEST attitude EVER. She was a diabetic and in end-stage renal disease and was on dialysis. She actually recognized Brian from when he was training out in Oneida, which is her usual place to get dialysis. So that broke the ice between us for sure! 

She was in the hospital because her dialysis wasn't working right and not clearing out her system and her body was not doing so good. On top of that she had a really bad infection in her foot which they deemed she would have to lose her other leg in order for the infection to stop spreading. :( So here we were... me, mystery woman, and her waiting to lose her other leg and going to dialysis every single day to get the toxins out of her body sharing a room. 

She was out of it the first few days and I thought neither of us would get any rest. But she was feisty, a smart ass, and full of God. She would often say, "I have God in my life and that is all I need." AMEN to that! She would often get me and the nurses laughing, often at the nurses  expense. We would joke together about the food service, the nurses, both good and bad, and our doctors and the ignorance of all. She helped me every single day get through my ordeal and I hope I helped her too. I really feel like we connected and I made a friend.

Since I know she went to rehab after I finally got out, Brian works there too and I really hope he can help me stay connected to her. The day I was leaving she was in surgery and dialysis and I had left a message on her white board. She came back before I left but got to read it. She thanked me for the kind words but there was so much more I wanted to say. I believe she will walk again. I KNOW she will. I pray for her healing every day. She has a long road ahead of her but I really hope they get her dialysis under control so she can be here on this earth for as long as possible. 

Anyway, coming home from the hospital has been a rough journey. I have good days and bad and my steroids that are helping me breathe better also make my blood sugar spike as well as my temper. Brian and I have been fighting a lot and that is so unlike us and maybe it is the steroid and maybe it is just something that needed to happen. I don't know but I love him and he does try so hard to take care of me and I appreciate him for it.

The boys are doing ok. Christopher is in that annoying teenager stage and Nicholas is slowly but surely showing signs of getting ready for some more independence. His father and (paternal) grandmother seem to keep wanting to pressure him to go to college and we both want that but he is not ready. I am not going to force him. It pisses me off and it pisses HIM off cause these people show no interest in him whatsoever most of the time, well grandma does, but that seems to be it. His father has not tried to contact him since summer. NOT ONCE! Irritates me. Irritates Nicholas too. Anyway, he has started to get things together and will start soon but I will not make him do anything he is not ready to do. He IS a special needs kid. Everyone seems to forget that...that doesn't mean he CAN'T but it means if I force him NOW he will NOT do well. He has to be mentally ready and he is almost there. Ya know? SIGH anyway... 

I go for my first mammogram on the 27th. I am nervous. I have booby lumps and possible complications from my surgery (lumps in there as well as extreme pain). So we will see. I go see a new endocrinologist and I will discuss with him possibilities of switching to an insulin pump since I hate giving myself shots. FIVE SHOTS A DAY IS TOO MUCH!

Well, I guess this is long enough for an update right? I suck at blogging. I should change my title to that instead. Maybe you will see another update from me soon. I do have other things to discuss! I feel like each one of these should be like a HUGE summary of my life since last time and that is not really what blogging is, is it? Oh well I don't have any readers anyway! Who am I kidding. LOL