What's new with me you ask?
Well, I left my husband after 15 years of marriage (this was over three years ago). We are currently separated. Things are amicable between us but we were both just so miserable and I was sick of the lies, half truths and just feeling so alone... I was in counseling when I made the call... it was apparent that we both wanted/needed out.... to work on ourselves for once. I don't know why he took it as a shock when I told him numerous times in the year prior that if things did not change, if we really did not both work on it, I was going to leave him. The kids did not take it that well but that was to be expected. When I told him, I started looking for a place to move to... I managed to find a nice little house not far from work but in the country. A cute house, very small... and I moved into it in a weekend. It felt so freeing to be on my own again... but kind of scary. DH was the one who handled most things and that was probably why we ended up in this situation and we should have shared that responsibility more. I know there are things that we both made many mistakes... we knew we loved each other but it wasn't enough anymore. IDK I have lots of thoughts on this that I might share in the future.
At my job, I met someone... programmer. We hit it off as friends and we had a lot of similar interests. Well that blossomed into something totally unexpected quite fast. Probably too fast. The heart wants what it wants, I guess? It has been almost 3 years since our first kiss. Hard to believe. It has been a roller coaster ride with lots of twists, turns and dips. I love him very much and I often forget he is 11 years younger than I am.... which only comes up in my head or when we talk about the old days... LOL
Well... fast forward a year from that fateful kiss and we both lose our jobs. Serious drama filled with miscommunication and fear and stupidness, really. I was pretty devastated they thought so badly of me that they laid me off. He moved in with us to help out and I was on unemployment and on the job hunt.
I found a job after six months with a local healthcare company as their marketing coordinator and I am loving it here. Kind of stressful sometimes but for the most part, my job is easy. I love the people I work with and for... my boss is awesome. So far so good and I have been here over a year and a half now. I get to travel which I love.
My oldest son is living with his dad in Baltimore, which hurts my heart but he is doing well. Hopefully he will finally start school this fall.
My youngest son is working hard, too hard at his job. It is hard hours to have a life outside of work but he makes good money. I am not sure what he will do with his life going forward besides working. He doesn't socialize much which is completely out of his character and I feel like I am slowly watching his fire going out and it makes me sad. I feel like maybe I did that. IDK. Life is hard and complicated.
We make mistakes and we have to live with them. I know I have made many mistakes and I have to just move forward and learn from them. I am not perfect but I am me. I am trying my best to live my life to the fullest... one day at a time.
